Dear Nancy,

My child is at a well-known and competitive public school in California. He is smart, but not really a test-taking type of student. Should we consider transferring him to a less competitive high school?

Thank you for your help!

A Worried Parent

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Dear Parent,

Thank you for your message!

What fits well works well. High school is a pivotal stage in life when teenagers learn skills and develop characters before adulthood. The best high school that can lay solid groundwork for a student is the one that fits the student.

Before deciding whether to stay or transfer, families can do a two-way “investigation.” On one side, take a look at the student’s strengths and learning style. On the other side, evaluate the school, including its academic rigor and signature programs.

If a student is consistently struggling at school and there is no realistic improvement in sight, that may indicate a mismatch between the student and the school. Such a mismatch can hurt grades and erode a child’s confidence, so transferring may be a good choice.

At the same time, there is no need to stay away from every academically strong school because a healthy amount of pressure can help build a student’s resilience. A student raised in a pressure-free “academic vacuum” may later find college life unexpectedly tough.

In brief, our goal is to find a high school where the student can be challenged appropriately while maintaining confidence.

Yours sincerely,

Nancy Xu, J.D.

Nancy老师，你好！

我的孩子现在就读加州一所知名但竞争激烈的公立高中，非常聪明，但就不是考试型孩子，是不是需要转至其他不太卷的高中？

多谢指点！

一位焦虑的家长

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这位家长，你好！

感谢你发来的提问！

适合自己的，往往就是最好的。高中四年，是在孩子迈入成人之前非常关键的四年，不仅学习知识技能，也逐渐塑造性格。能够为一名学生打下坚实基础的“最好”高中，需要是最适合他的高中。

家长在决定是继续就读还是转学之前，建议可以做双向“调研”。一方面，充分了解自己孩子的特长和喜好，包括是否考试型孩子。另一方面，充分对备选学校做调研，包括学业竞争、特色项目等。

万一孩子在进入高中后，学业上长期感到十分吃力，且在可预见的未来，没有转好的可能，这说明可能这所高中与孩子在学业上的匹配度不够。长此以往，这样的不匹配不仅连累学业，更会打击自信心，所以转学也许值得考虑。

同时，也没有必要刻意回避所有学业竞争激烈的高中。有一定程度的学业压力，也是培养孩子的抗压能力，是成长的一部分。孩子如果高中生活在竞争很少的真空里，读大学时学业恐怕会吃力。

简言之，高中需要既能让孩子接受适当挑战，又能保持自信。适合孩子的高中，就是最好的高中。

Nancy Xu, J.D.